I'm back man! Totally. It's the first of May, man. I turn 25 in May. Man, how good is that going to be? This month is gonna be so totally crazy good, man. Starting with getting No Stars back and happening.
I just woke up. When I did I thought to myself, "Hey, it's a new month, I should start the blog again like I've been promising. What's stopping me? Sure I never finished that article for Koops that had been holding me back this whole time, sure one of my best friends deleted me off facebook because of that, sure I've got a whole bunch of other writing I should be doing, sure I kinda need to pee and should get out of bed... but really, what's stopping me?"
So I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. While I was in the bathroom I thought about the triumphant return of No Stars. How great that first post would be. How funny. How heartfelt. How brilliant. It's going to make people feel something. It's going to make people smile. Make their chests warm. Make them think of their own lives. Make them realise that life is profound and wonderful and horrible and all these things. I pictured myself writing the post and then walking down the street for a coffee in slo motion, hi-fiving everyone as I walked past. It would be sunny and I would be really good looking.
I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and jumped back into bed. I grabbed my laptop and clicked around facebook for 24 minutes. Then I logged into No Stars and stared at the new post screen. "Where do I start?" I thought. "Where is the brilliance? Where is the heart, the humour..."
I had nothing... then I wrote this. What a disappointment. Can't believe I turn 25 this May. This is going to be the worst month ever. 1 star.