Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Alan's new haircut.

I work with this guy Alan. He's a pretty cool guy. He designs things with his computer machine. He's also a really good surfer. Best of all is his hair.

It's a variety of blonde shades that change with the light around it. Outdoors it refracts sunshine and creates a rainbow around his head. Indoors it seems to take in the fluorescent lighting and emanate a wholesome winter cabin like warmth in the cold artificial air.

Then there's the curls. Oh my the curls! They wind up tight like a whole bunch of old telephone cords, protecting his skull, only to flick out wildly when he does aerials on his surfboard. Just imagine the curls unleashed to their full length for that split second, whipping a spray of water into the salty air. It's as beautiful like the feathers of a peacock.

The other day Alan got a haircut. I was worried. Everyone was worried. But the results were satisfactory. It was sharp. It was smart. And it still held all the traits of the hair we had grown to love. The curls. The shades. The idea that it could hold mysterious powers. This was a good haircut.

When he walked into the office everyone stood up and applauded. We love Alan's hair.

I wonder what it smells like?

5 stars.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Cotton Ball The Work Experience Kid

We have a work experience kid in the office of Surfboard Riding and You Periodical at the moment. Today is his last day. He had to interview Alan about design to show his teacher. So I interviewed him while he interviewed. This is it. As I was uploading this he looked over my shoulder and said, "It's not a very exciting blog. I thought it would have something cool."

His name is Jack.

No Stars: If all the people in the world stood on one side of the earth and jumped, do you reckon the world would move, like, one inch.
Jack: Umm, no. I don't reckon.

Ok. What if there was a pool full of custard. Do you reckon you could swim in it, or would you sink?
I reckon you'd sink. I dunno. It's pretty dense.

What flavour would you prefer the custard to be if you had to swim in it.
Definitely vanilla.

If you kept all the leftover hair from all your haircuts in your life, and wrapped it in a sheet. Would that make a comfortable blanket.
I guess.

How many blankets do you think your hair would make?
One big one maybe. This for your blog?

Yeah. What's your favourite subject at school?
That's a stupid question. Vis Comm.

That's a stupid answer.
What? You want me to say English?

Who is your best friend.

Who's Paul?
Don't say Paul. I didn't say Paul. I said, "auhh." You thought I said Paul. Say my best friend is Lachie Butha. That'd be hilarious.

Why's that hilarious?
Cause he's a really aggressive man. He tries to hang out with us but he gets really really aggressive. There's this kid at my school who catches pigeons. I'm not joking. He throws his jumper on them and then jumps on it and picks it up.

What's been the weirdest thing about work experience?
That's a hard one. The weirdest thing?

Don't worry about it.
Umm, turning up to work before most people. That's weird.

Do you facebook chat a lot of girls on facebook?

Do you chat with your ex girlfriend's twin sister?
All the time.

What's that about?
I'm friends with both of them. It gets the other one angry.

Don't act cool for the interview.
It works. Don't tell me you haven't tried that trick.

Nah. Do you believe in true love?
Ummmmmmmm no. I hate love. It never works.

That's pretty grim.
Do you believe in love?

Yeah, it's the best. Does going to Wesley make you a gaylord?

You sure?
Definitely not.

Do you ever wear your socks for too long, and then they get all squishy in your shoes?

That's how mine feel now.
I never really wear my socks more than a couple of days. Maybe two.

Do you have a nickname?

That's a pretty boring nickname.
We could come up with something better.

What about Cotton Ball the work experience kid?

Yeah. Is this the first interview you've ever done?
I think so.

If you had to rate this interview out of five stars what would you give it?
It was pretty funny, just over average.

Four. Four stars.