Monday, December 5, 2011

Flower Drumming

On Sunday it was all wet and grey and Cutthroat and I decided we wouldn't go anywhere all day. After we decided that I called Hipswell to see what she was doing.

"What are you doing?" I said.

"Flower Drumming," she said.

"Cool, pick me and Cutthroat up," I said.

"Ok," she said.

So we walked down the hill to meet her. Tricktin came with us to ask Hipswell for a cigarette. He brought a knife in case she said no.

This is what it looks like when Hipswell picks you up to go Flower Drumming. Her hair is never in focus and most of the time she looks disappointed at you.

Tricktin got a cigarette and didn't have to stab anyone. He was stoked about that.

I called shotgun so the flowers had to sit in the back. Flower Drum flowers are rebels and rarely use seat-belts. Damn punks.

Hipswell was all, "Are you going to take pictures?" And I was all, "Fuck yeah I'm going to take pictures." And she was all, "Ok."

Cutthroat also had to sit in the back. She was happy about that.

But then Hipswell made her hold some flowers. It was a tough job. She concentrated really hard though and held them really well.

The event that Hipswell was Flower Drumming was in Dee Why. It was raining there too.

She couldn't find a park even though she was wearing glasses.

After like 34 minutes of Hipswell complaining about not finding a park she found a park and walked into the venue to do some Flower Drumming. It was pretty exciting. 

Cutthroat and I put Hipswell in charge for the day so we could go and get coffee and hot chocolate. It was way more fun than flowers.

While we waited Cutthroat thought of ways she could overthrow Hipswell, and take control of her flower empire.

But then her hot chocolate came and she just thought about chocolate instead. 

We came back and Hipswell wasn't even finished yet. If we owned watches we would have looked at them and yawned loudly.

This is a picture of her asking me to pass her some scissors. I couldn't find them.

That was a big disaster and Hipswell was mad at me. Even though this picture is in black and white, it's not the 40s. It's just a setting on the camera that makes it look like the 40s. Pretty tricky stuff.

"Hey Hipswell, quit with the coffee drinking and get back to the Flower Drumming! We're not paying you to drink coffee. We're not paying you at all!"

I like to think of this wall-lamp as a lonely tourist just getting off the plane on its first trip to Hawaii. Ten years of saving up holiday leave and here it is, looking for romance. Which way to the hotel lobby eh wall-lamp? Haha, you're a good kid.


MP was already raising the roof and the party hadn't even started.

"Take a picture of that flower bomb!" yelled Holly. I took a couple because I wanted a ride home. This is the only one with a bit of her head in it, it's my favourite.

This is another picture of the same flower bomb.

And another...

This is the first one again.

Hipswell tried to make a quick getaway.

But we caught up because she was holding a bucket.

We left after that. People at the venue asked if I was going to the party and I said yes even though I knew I wasn't going to. Instead Cutthroat and I spent the rest of the day watching DVDs because we were exhausted from our day Flower Drumming.

Hipswell is still yet to cut us in on the profits so for that I give Flower Drumming no stars.

Ya hear that Hipswell? No stars!


Sands tonight?

Genius Idea #1

It's Monday morning which is awesome because I just had genius idea #1 for my life. I've had ideas before but this is my first genius one. I'm sure it will make millions, if not hundreds of dollars.

Here it is:

Imagine, a mug... stay with me now, with the words "Mug Life" printed on the side. (See Figure A)

Figure A
This would also be a good idea if someone who was good at drawing drew a picture of a mug that was a scary looking gangster with the caption above it saying "Mug Life".

Ok, so it's out there now. Internet, I'd like the millions of dollars made out to cash and sent to me ASAP please. I want to buy an iPhone. Thanks.

4 stars.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Facebook posts from Alvin.

Today I got a Facebook post from Alvin. Remember Alvin? Ha, the crazy guy... this is what the post said.

"The other night i caught the night rider home, before hand i went to get my usual $15 kfc feed. In all the hoo hub they gave me 2 zinger burgers!! I ate one on the bus and then put the other in the bag and put the bag handle through the cuff button on my shirt, so that on the walk home my hands would be available to grip things. I attempted the short cut from like Bunnings straight to mine, through the streets with the City street names...
Any way at some point i made a wrong turn and ended up in a street that was dead ended by a large fence that backed onto the train tracks. I decided I would scale the fence to avoid back tracking...I unbuttoned my bag and tossed it over the fence, then scaled the huge fence severely cutting my hands and hurting my knee. Once i got over i landed in grass that was like hip height. I looked for my zinger burger in the long grass for a few minutes but couldn't find it. Zinger burger in the grass....sounds like a picnic..."

5 stars.